Because in this week’s Entertainment Weekly, there are photoshoots and interviews with the casts of the three shows that defined my fangirl existence, post-ER and pre-Lost: Gilmore Girls, Alias, and The West Wing.

While Alias got the epilogue I needed to effectively move past that obsession, the other two weren’t so generous. (Well, The West Wing‘s final season kicked off with a flashforward that gave us a little insight into the future, but I’m not counting that.) So when they asked cast members what they thought their characters were up to and they unequivocally said babies … it’s like seventeen-year-old Allie can finally let it go. Here are the quotes.

EW: Do you think Lorelai and Luke would have had a kid?

Alexis: Maybe, like, two.

Lauren: Two? Well, oh my goodness, we just got busy really fast! We didn’t even have the wedding. All right, well then, hey–we probably got married in year one. We’ve been away from the show three years. We had kid one in year two, and we had kid two in year three. That’s what Alexis says, and I am very overwhelmed by my toddlers.

That’s officially my personal canon, y’all. Also, that one of the kids is a boy named after Luke’s dad.

EW: Any plans to work together again?

Jennifer Garner: We’re always trying to work together. Everything I do, I say, “I have a father in this! You know who would be great?” I don’t know why they don’t go for it.”

Victor Garber: I know exactly why: ’cause we’re impossible. We laugh too much.

I want to be friends with both of them. In the article, Jen also talks about how Victor Garber is the best addition to any dinner party, to which I would like to say, girl, you’ve never been to a dinner party with me.

EW: What would Josh and Donna be up to now?

Janel Moloney: I don’t think they got married; I think they were just living together.

Bradley Whitford: I’m thinking we got married. And am I, like, working at a think tank?

Janel: Sure. What am I doing?

Bradley: I think you were working at the think tank until the kid came.

Oh, sweet Cheesus, you guys. My younger self would be dying. She’d be curled up in the fetal position under her desk, cackling maniacally and probably crying a little. Luckily, I’m way more mature.

Let’s just be glad it’s late-twenties Allie who’ll be dealing with any kind of Lost reunion.

For the most part, I’m over the fact that Carter left and Abby ended up with Luka, even if, to this day, I’ll swear up and down that it never would’ve happened if Noah Wyle hadn’t left the show.

Anyway, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a bitch when I see video (old video, even!) of Maura talking about the ER fandom and saying flat-out that she likes the Lubys better than the Carbys. As Aimee said, after she watched it, “I felt a hatred toward her I’ve never known before.” It’s in this video at about 8:10.

What a personal affront to my former self!

Whatever. We’ll always have Evangeline Lilly.

Mr. Malina, an avid Tweeter and the guy who’s been a series regular on the two of Sorkin’s three series that didn’t suck, is guest-starring on Bones soon, in what I assume is (spoiler alert!) the role of Phillip, a man who flirts with and is a possible love interest for Brennan.

If that’s true, sign me up.  I can actually get behind a romance between him and Bones–knowing, of course, that she’s not, you know, going to end up with him.

Here’s a clip from Sports Night, where he delivers a delicious Sorkin monologue.  (His poker skills are real, too; Joshua Malina created and produced Bravo’s Celebrity Poker Showdown series.)

And here’s another from The West Wing, where he played Will Bailey, the guy who replaced Rob Lowe.  Not easy shoes to fill, but for the short few episodes that his tenure overlapped with Sorkin’s, he did it very well.

Also, his Sports Night character once dated a porn star, so he’ll fit right in with the rest of the Bones cast.

In the newest Funny or Die sketch, Anthony Edwards prepares for his NBC return–the NYC Marathon, starring himself.

I love Ally McBeal, not only because we have homophonic names, but also because we’ve both been to a prom with Josh Groban. No? Just her?

Dammit.