The result was this retooling of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”

As it came to a close, I thought to myself, “I could’ve come up with way better Dexterized lyrics to that beloved holiday jingle.” But those last few bars won me over. I laughed so hard I almost choked on my tears.

Thanks for sharing, John!

Honestly, I had almost forgotten that part of the package with this show was Amber Riley’s vocals. Thanks for the reminder. (And more on Glee in a few hours!)

duh. // nbc promotional photo

Well, there was always a fifty-fifty chance, except there really wasn’t. Spoilers after the jump.

According to TV Guide Magazine, it’s a girl:

We can also look forward to the impending birth of Pam and Jim’s baby. Daniels says Pam will try to hold her baby in past midnight so that she can get a full two days in the hospital before her insurance plan kicks her out. Pam’s mom (Linda Purl) will be returning to see her new granddaughter, but it is Michael who will of course be more excited than anyone by the baby’s birth. But Daniels adds, ‘I don’t think Michael’s expecting her to take maternity leave. He hasn’t quite thought this out.’

Now, it’s possible that TV Guide, like me, has so convinced themselves that this child is female that they forgot that we don’t actually know yet.  It’s also possible that Greg Daniels, while doing TONS of press at the TCA events for The Office and for Parks & Recreation, accidentally spilled a secret, like Jennifer Garner did five years ago*:

For now, I’m going to go with the “Greg spilled the beans” theory, because HOLLA.  Of course Jim and Pam’s baby is a girl.

*Despite how much I love this clip and my goal of spreading it to the ends of the earth, I’m totally Team Conan. Just making that clear.

hey, they can still get a little closer. // fox promotional photo

I think I’ve made it exceedingly clear where I stand on my 100th episode predictions.

In fact, it’s almost dangerous how much I think Booth and Brennan made out back in the day.  And not just because there’s audio evidence of that time I cried after last year’s season finale was SO EFFING TERRIBLE and the exact opposite of what I was convinced ABSOLUTELY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HAD TO HAPPEN.  And then it didn’t and I cried.

And I don’t like to do that, because, come on, it’s Bones.

I was watching “Two Bodies in the Lab” yesterday, a season one episode where Brennan talks about how sometimes, she meets men, and sometimes, she sleeps with them, and I was like, THIS IS SO GREAT BECAUSE YOU MADE OUT WITH THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.  And that’s bad, because they probably didn’t, because for someone who enjoys her night job as a serial television expert, I’m not that good at it a lot of the time.

ANYWAY. This morning was Bones‘s Television Critics Association event, and plenty more juicy tidbits came out.  Well, I’m not so sure they’re juicy as much as they’re just incredibly confusing.  Spoilers and speculation after the jump.

According to EW’s Michael Ausiello:

In possibly related news, Nathan reveals Booth and Brennan’s relationship will take a radical turn following the show’s 100th episode on April 8. “After the 100th episode, they will reassess and reexamine their relationship,” he reveals. “They’re going to be going off on a different trajectory than we have been seeing this season.

“For most of this season we’ve seen Booth struggling with his feelings for Brennan,” Nathan elaborates. “And I think after the 100th, they might be a bit more resolved. We’ll start off in a new direction for both of them.”

Might that new direction involve the pair consummating their relationship for real? “I can’t see that happening this season,” he says. “I think their relationship is going to take a far more interesting turn. I think it’ll be much more interesting than just consummating the relationship. It’ll stir everyone up a lot more.”

Okay, so … they’re off in a new direction, but one that doesn’t lead to sex?  Huh?

And Emily Deschanel told Fancast’s Matt Mitovich:

[The 100th] sheds new light on the relationship between Booth and Bones and kind of changes it forever. Just like [Booth's brain surgery storyline] did, but this even more so.

Okay, so, new direction, new light … but no sex?

Now, what I want to see is this: The episode ends with Booth and Brennan confessing to Sweets that, yeah, there was that one time that they made out big time.  Brennan explains that they agreed it was a bad idea and decided to forget it ever happened.  And Sweets asks them, “So did you? Forget it ever happened?” and Booth and Bones look at each other, and you KNOW, there’s no way they ever forgot it, and Booth says, “No. Did you?” and she says, “No.”  And now it’s like, WELL, OKAY THEN.

But I almost wonder if it’s possible that what’ll actually happen is far less romantic.  Could it be that Booth and Brennan’s look backward reminds them of why they didn’t like each other to begin with–that the 100th could represent the beginning of a dark period for the couple?  It’s definitely not out of the question, I don’t think, although it would be some pretty serious back-pedaling.  I remember at the beginning of the season, David Boreanaz was doing a bunch of interviews, and he kept talking about how, with the brain tumor, he had to be sure that he really loved her, and then the time would come when he’d realize that, hey, he actually didn’t love her, after all.  And everyone rolled their eyes at him, because COME ON, IT’S BOOTH AND BONES AND OF COURSE HE LOVES HER.  But is it possible?  Yes.

Then there’s this whole business about Stephen Nathan saying that two characters are gonna get married.  Coupled with that tease that somebody finds a pregnancy test in this week’s episode, I have to wonder if there’s not some shotgun wedding business going down.  Although all of that speculation has been largely centered around Angela, and she already got a wedding on this show, so I doubt they’d go there.  It could be anyone, really.

i miss juliet, too. // abc promotional photo

Super spoilers under the cut. Really super.

According to Dark’s sources:

Within the first 4 episodes, Sawyer who has gone a bit “dark” meets up with MIB/Smokey and he is given 3 choices

- Go to the Temple with the Others
- Stay and wait with his friends
- Join him and help Smokey/MIB get off the Island

Sawyer chooses to join sides with Smokey

LOVE IT.  And not just for obvious reasons.  (The obvious reason being that it’s going to be hard to win Kate’s heart when you’ve teamed up with the Smoke Monster.)  I love it for less obvious reasons, which is that it’s going to be awesome seeing characters take ultimate sides of good and evil–of course, forcing us to question what the sides of good and evil are.  Also, it’s great to see the writers showing a character’s grief; it’ll be hard not to associate this choice of Sawyer’s with his bereavement over the loss of Juliet.  Remember how irritated people were when Claire showed so little emotion about Charlie’s passing?  Yeah, I don’t think they’ll be able to say the same for Sawyer.

Also, what does it mean that Smokey wants to “get off the Island”?  He wants to extend the reaches of his evil beyond the confines of the island?  And how can Sawyer help with that?

Whether or not he’ll ultimate return to Team Jacob remains to be seen, but for now … WOW.

Jayma Mays and Matthew Morrison chronicle their Day of Kissing during filming for Glee‘s “Sectionals,” complete with a visit from Jessalyn Gilsig (Terri).  Hilarious and sweet, this video gave me the giggles more than once.  (But it still doesn’t beat David and Emily’s.  Sorry, guys.)

Also, I’ve always imagined that Will Schuester would taste like peanut M&Ms.

five seasons from now, you might get to kiss david tennant. // getty images

The love interest for David Tennant’s American series has been cast; Sophia will be played by actress Lindsey Kraft, an actress so undiscovered, she doesn’t even have a bio on IMDb.  She’s been in some things, but nothing even as mainstream as a playing a victim on Law & Order.  I’ve been waiting for weeks to find out who would be playing Sophia, and I’m neither surprised nor disappointed that they’ve chosen an obscure young actress for the part.  With a loudmouth cast including David Tennant, Jeffrey Tambor, Jane Curtin, and now Jerry O’Connell, this pilot didn’t need more recognizable names.

It’s also become pretty standard lately to cast established actors against fresh-faced actresses.  Just look at Castle‘s Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic, Bones‘s David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel, Lost‘s Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly, Fringe‘s Joshua Jackson and Anna Torv, Grey’s Anatomy‘s Patrick Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo, and so on and so forth.

Literally the only thing I can say about her–I can’t judge her talent or her chemistry with David or anything–is that she looks quite young.  But then again, that’s pretty standard these days, too.

But she’s also adorable and I’m growing more and more excited for this pilot–I’m notoriously bad at this sort of thing, but it’s been getting enough press than unless the pilot blows hard, it looks like a good pick for a pick-up.

Meanwhile, a funny story.  The article in which this info was reported was titled, “Jerry O’Connell to co-star in NBC pilot.”  I was immediately terrified that this meant he’d been cast as the lead in J.J. Abrams’s Undercovers, the spy dramedy which shouldn’t touch Jerry O’Connell with a ten-foot pole.  Clicking in, though, I realized he’d replaced the dude from Heroes, Sendhil Ramamurthy, who backed out at the last minute due to scheduling conflicts.

It was a good scare, though.

Mr. Malina, an avid Tweeter and the guy who’s been a series regular on the two of Sorkin’s three series that didn’t suck, is guest-starring on Bones soon, in what I assume is (spoiler alert!) the role of Phillip, a man who flirts with and is a possible love interest for Brennan.

If that’s true, sign me up.  I can actually get behind a romance between him and Bones–knowing, of course, that she’s not, you know, going to end up with him.

Here’s a clip from Sports Night, where he delivers a delicious Sorkin monologue.  (His poker skills are real, too; Joshua Malina created and produced Bravo’s Celebrity Poker Showdown series.)

And here’s another from The West Wing, where he played Will Bailey, the guy who replaced Rob Lowe.  Not easy shoes to fill, but for the short few episodes that his tenure overlapped with Sorkin’s, he did it very well.

Also, his Sports Night character once dated a porn star, so he’ll fit right in with the rest of the Bones cast.

The promo for next week’s Bones is unexpectedly sexy.  When Santa explodes during a botched bank heist, Booth becomes evidence.  The sides included the description of Brennan pushing nearly-naked Booth through the Jeffersonian on a gurney, but we had no idea just how far the show would take the joke.  I know a lot of flaily fangirls who were overjoyed to see that they’re taking it all the way to Brennan undressing Booth–purely for evidence’s sake.

Also, Zooey Deschanel guest-stars (along with notable hot mess Ryan O’Neal) to bring some Christmas cheer to Brennan and the team.  (Also interesting: they’ve taken down Booth’s apartment and rebuilt Brennan’s, though it looks like she’s moved again, making this the FOURTH apartment she’s lived in since the series started.)

While I still wouldn’t advise getting your hopes up for a Booth/Brennan kiss under the mistletoe, it does look like next week will bring the cuteness for them.  Of the Booth/Brennan development in the Christmas episode, Emily teased:

She kind of opens up and has a new level of compassion. I think any time Booth and Brennan have some kind of breakthrough it brings both of them together and closer. You’ll see Brennan kind of starts to have a paradigm shift in how she is looking at certain situations and Booth kind of holds her hand through that. I think when you go through something that changes you, it is profound in a way and if somebody is helping you, it brings you closer together. Christmas brings people together and as much as Brennan resists that aspect, she usually ends up with people at the end!

I hesitate to say that last night’s episode was classic Glee, since it was only the twelfth episode ever, but it kind of was.  The last few episodes had been kind of heavy-handed, what with the Down syndrome angst and the deaf kids singing “Imagine” and Kurt’s struggles with heteronormativity and Quinn’s teen pregnancy drama.  So last night I was super-pleased to see a return to the more biting humor of the earlier episodes–and some nice melodrama to go along with it.

I’m sure I speak for a lot of people when I say that that the Will/Terri breakdown was SO SO SO worth eleven episodes of hating Terri’s lying guts.

Anyway, on to Sectionals!

In the promo for next week’s fall finale, it looks like there’s plenty of stuff going on for all of the couples and characters of Glee.  Rachel says she understands if Quinn wants to beat her up–just please avoid her nose.  The team sings “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”  And Emma’s taking one for the team and acting as Will’s proxy at Sectionals, keeping him apprised of the situation via cell phone.  Whether this means she postpones her wedding or merely forgoes her reception has yet to be seen.

There’s also a shot of Will running down the school hallway, which of course has me crossing my fingers for a “speak now or forever hold your peace” moment with Emma.

The Canadian promo contains even more information.  Emma, on the phone to Will from Sectionals, announces that the kids performing before New Directions are using all of McKinley’s numbers, and that the kids are FREAKING OUT.  (Don’t worry, I bet they’ll figure something out.)

And it also shows Will, present in hand, sitting at a table at Emma’s wedding–alone.  And with a look on his face that clearly says that Emma in a wedding dress just walked into the room. HOLY CRAP, is it next Wednesday yet?