Can they cash them? Time will tell.

Glee: The kids will graduate. Ryan Murphy has been talking a lot about his plan to graduate the original cast of kids by the end of season three. While this is a good plan that maintains the strong sense of realism embodied in every episode of Glee, it’s going to get messy really fast. See, Friday Night Lights graduated all of its kids on time, but when the show started, they weren’t all sophomores. It took just one year for Jason Street to finish high school, but we had four whole years of Julie Taylor. If they think they can say goodbye to Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Puck, Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, Santana, Brittany, and Tina in one fell swoop, leaving us with … Sam, Lauren Zizes, and a shit-ton of new characters … they better get ready for a revolt.

The real problem is what I will henceforth call The Rory Gilmore Problem. See, Rory Gilmore set her sights on Harvard University before the pilot of Gilmore Girls even aired. But three seasons later, when it was time to send her to college, they realized … we can’t send her to another state! Let’s just crush her dreams and send her to Yale instead. Now, it all worked out for her in the end (she covered the Obama campaign and is now likely the youngest member of the White House press corps in history), but it still sucked to see her compromise her goals for the sake of her show’s logistics. I am worried about the same fate befalling Rachel Berry on Glee. Rachel promised Finn that she’s heading to New York as soon as she graduates, and we want that for her. But is Glee prepared to let Rachel (and therefore Lea Michele) leave? It’s hard to imagine this show without Rachel Berry in some capacity, but it’s incredibly sad to imagine her giving up her dream of Broadway to stay behind and be Mr. Schuester’s apprentice. I mean, have you MET that guy? ::Shudders::

Castle: Castle loves Beckett! In the season finale, Castle admitted to Beckett that he totes loves her. The problem? She’d just been shot in the chest and was bleeding out right in front of him. It felt like a big payoff at the time, but will they cash that lovey love check come the fall? It’d be so easy for Beckett to have missed that memo (she was a little busy TRYING NOT TO DIE), and for Castle to be overshadowed and crushed by Dr. Josh’s heart surgery heroism. It’s a classic “If a tree falls in the woods…” scenario–if Castle, you, and me are the only ones who ever know just what he said in that cemetery, did it make a sound?

How I Met Your Mother: No really. Who is she? We assume we’ll find out who Ted’s wife and babymama is by the end of the series, but after six long seasons, will they be able to make this reveal satisfying? It may have been a mistake for the series to put such an early emphasis on Ted’s future, making the whole show too much about the elusive destination and not enough about the journey, but like it or not, they wrote a big check in the pilot. At some point, they’re going to have to cash it, but how? Should she be a well-known actress? A virtual unknown? A character who comes out of nowhere (random flower girl from the finale-style) … or a character we’re headed toward meeting anyway (Barney’s half-sister)? Either way, it needs to happen soon, if not for my sanity, then to make sure those kids are born quickly enough to be teenagers by 2030.

Got any more promises you’re worried your shows can’t keep? Of the opinion that, on television, there’s no such thing as promises? Sound off in the comments.

Where We Started: At a wedding. Whose? We don’t know, but Ted’s the best man!

Where We Ended: Annoyingly close to where we started. Plenty of people had been speculating since the premiere that the wedding would be Barney’s. And while a shot of a Barney Stinson suited up for his own wedding is definitely a jarring picture, it wasn’t necessarily a shocking finale. It’s kind of like how I felt when John Locke was in the coffin, except I figured it out by using common sense, not Lostfan108 spoilers. Also, I’m actually kind of pissed that they’re teasing this little by little, as if it’s THE MOST COMPELLING SHIT EVER. They’re sitting on one secret (Barney marries some lady! Maybe Robin! Maybe Nora!) and they’re stretching it as far as they possibly can. Meanwhile, their week-to-week PRESENT TIMELINE stories (the Arcadian, anyone?) are about as dull as ditchwater. (I did enjoy seeing Bones‘s diner imploded, though.)

Outstanding Episode Along the Way: “Blitzgiving,” just for Hurley. It also kicked off my theory on the Mother’s identity, which I’m now pretty sure was wrong. See, that episode introduced the fact that Zoey has a bad relationship with her stepdaughter. And because the showrunners told us that Zoey was important, but it had already become pretty clear that she couldn’t be the Mother, I liked the idea that she could end up being Ted’s wife’s stepmother. They gave the ungrateful girl a name and everything! (Hannah.) But it appears that Hannah, and her beleaguered stepmom, were about as important to the overall plot as the sweaty flip-flop I’m wearing right now. (More on that later.)

MVP: Marshall. Obviously, he was given the most to deal with this season emotionally. And while his job-hunting jibber-jabber got pretty damn annoying as time went on, his story arc this season was the most coherent of the group’s, and he definitely got the best payoff in the finale. Speaking of which…

Best Payoff: Lily’s pregnant! After a season of fertility woes (and a little angsty drama in the middle there), that revelation was a great finale surprise. I’m sure it wasn’t their intention, but I actually tuned out the barfy B-plot in last night’s finale and wrote it off as another laughless idea from the HIMYM writers’ room. (Bridesmaids did it better.) It wasn’t until Marshall got home puke-free that I caught wise. Call me slow if you want, but it was worth it for that little moment of happiness. They deserve it.

Quote of the Year: “I’m not ready for this.” Jason Segel improvised that! Gnuf. So good.

Worst Storyline: Even though the announcement that she’d be joining renewed my interest in the show, Jennifer Morrison’s Zoey turned out to be the worst love interest on HIMYM in years. When she showed up, there was legitimate speculation that she might be the Mother. As we got to know her more (during the first half of the season), she was an interesting, complicated character who acted as a real foil for Ted. But in the latter half of the season, she devolved into a major mess, and her entire storyline crumbled around her. I’m not quite sure why the writers think we’re still not ready to be introduced to Ted’s future wife. That moment in the finale where Ted joked that Random Orchid Girl is the Mother … do you have any idea how much I would have loved that to be true? (I’ve actually suggested a similar situation before.) Waiting for her is getting so tedious, and Ted needs more to do. I seriously, seriously, seriously hope that Ted doesn’t have another annoying love interest until he meets The One. I’m bored.

Spend the Summer Wondering…: WHO IS THE BRIDE????? Not really. At this point, I think I’m wondering what I’m going to watch Mondays at 8 from now on. The Sing-Off?

not another fakeout, HIMYM! // cbs promotional photo

I love a good “opposites attract” romance as much as the next girl, so when the Zoey storyline kicked off on How I Met Your Mother, I was quite jazzed about the whole situation. For several episodes, Ted and Zoey’s romance was on a slow-burn path to Sexytown, and their early banter made Zoey my favorite of the Mother Candidates by far. (Remember Stella? Ughhhh.)

But as time has gone on—and now that their relationship has been consummated—their romance has taken a turn for the nasty, and Zoey’s suddenly a less palatable character.

This week’s episode was rather unenjoyable and seemed to indicate the beginning of the end for ol’ Zoey. (In the previous episode, Ted confirmed that Zoey is not his future wife, and that things between them ended badly.) The hour reminded me of all the things I dislike about this series—namely, the ongoing tedium of the mother storyline.

The future teases are fun. Even though this week’s Barney and Marshall storyline was almost embarrassingly awful, the ten-year flashforward gave us a quick glimpse at everyone for the first time and is fun to speculate on. For instance, it looked like Robin was wearing a wedding ring, but Barney wasn’t. Does this suggest they don’t end up together—or just that Barney’s following the rules of Prince William and not wearing a wedding ring?

But if Zoey truly ends up being just another unnecessary stepping stone, I’m going to be really irritated. When Jennifer Morrison joined the show, they went to great lengths explaining how important her character was to the series. Well, y’all just told us she’s not the mother (RIP Zoey Mosby dreams), so you better have her be a pretty critical conduit. (Stepmother, anyone?)

Guest-starring as Zoey’s cousin, Katy Perry plays a sweet-but-gullible girl who is initially set up with Ted but apparently ends up doing the nasty with Barney.

Now, this is a fun little outing for our guys, and HIMYM is pretty agile when it comes to high-profile guests, but I’m always more curious about how these guest spots affect the larger storyline. This episode in particular could shine a little more light on my new BFF Zoey–and potentially The Mother.

My theory, as I’ve explained before, is that Zoey’s stepdaughter, Hannah, is The Mother. This theory could gain more traction next week if Katy’s character, whom the gang calls “Honey,” mentions Zoey’s Evil Stepmother complex. Of course, the theory LOSES traction if, as is being hinted at, Ted realizes he’s got feelings for Zoey and wants to make a go of it.

she does fit in nicely, right? // cbs promotional photo

When Jennifer Morrison booked this gig on How I Met Your Mother, there was a LOT of speculation that she would eventually be known as Mrs. Mosby. But now, several episodes in, the logic doesn’t quite fit up. Is it possible she’s still the mother … or should we write her off as just another girl on the way to Ted’s True Love?

Fact: Ted and The Mrs. meet in New York.

Fact: The Mother has a yellow umbrella. Blah blah blah.

Fact: When Ted got The Mother’s phone number, he called her right away.

Fact: The Mother was in the economics class Ted accidentally walked into.

Fact: The Mother is Rachel Bilson’s roommate.

Fact: Ted meets The Mother at a wedding. Possibly Punchy’s.

Barely any of these facts add up to Zoey being the mother. Zoey’s not a student, she doesn’t have a lesbian roommate, and, well, she and Ted have already met, and the circumstances were very different. The problem, of course, is that I like Zoey and would genuinely like her to be the mother.

Another problem is that, especially after Monday’s episode, we know that Ted is an unreliable narrator. He could be forgetting things, changing things on purpose, mixing up timelines, etc.

And the final problem is that we are being told by producers that Zoey is important to the overall storyline AND THAT SHE IS IN THE SEASON FINALE, meaning that she almost definitely plays a role in Ted’s mama drama.

So here’s a prediction for y’all. It might be insane, but here it is anyway:

Zoey’s stepdaughter is The Mother.

Fact: Zoey’s husband is older and has a daughter from a previous marriage, who does not get along with Zoey.

The stepdaughter, named Hannah, could easily be an economics student with a lesbian roommate and a yellow umbrella. (It doesn’t make a lot of sense why Zoey would be gifting a girl of this age with a stuffed turkey, but that’s way easier to deal with than the other issues.)

Also, that would still make for a pretty awkward start to their relationship, what with Ted having spent several episodes warming up to Zoey, seemingly on a clear path to doing it, only to have him ditch that plan in favor of her much-younger stepdaughter.

It’d be weird, but it also fits kind of nicely in the parameters of what we already know about The Mother and about Zoey.

Doesn’t hurt that she could redeem the name Hannah, either.

Bunnies! Flirting! A long-term storyline set-up! Jennifer Morrison getting more than the cranky end of House’s stick!

That sounded really dirty, but it was just meant as commentary that she didn’t ever get to do anything at her old job. Much less anything FUNNY.

does this show have big PLANS for you or what? hey, architecture humor. // cbs promotional photo

Does the latest press release offer another hint about the identity of The Mother? Spoilers after the jump.

Here’s the synopsis for episode seven:

“Canning Randy” – When Zoey enrolls in Ted’s class, she manipulates his students into taking her side in the fight to save the building being torn down to make room for his project. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily spot Robin marching in the Halloween parade of shame, on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, Monday, Nov. 1 (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Broadway actress Laura Bell Bundy (“Legally Blonde – The Musical”) guest stars as Becky, Robin’s new co-anchor; Will Forte (“Saturday Night Live”) returns as Randy, Marshall’s incompetent co-worker and Jennifer Morrison (“House”) returns as Zoey, Ted’s archnemisis.

This drops a big bombshell–Zoey’s in Ted’s class. The season four finale revealed that the Mother was in Ted’s class, although we still don’t know if it was his architecture class or the economics lecture he accidentally walked into. (Right?) Still, this seems like a huge nod to Zoey’s possible momhood……

…..Which, in turn, makes it seem like a hint that Zoey’s NOT the mother, because it’s in an official press release. They’re putting this out there, like it doesn’t say, HEY, GUESS WHAT, ZOEY ALSO LIVES WITH RACHEL BILSON AND HAS A YELLOW UMBRELLA.

It’s hard not to get my hopes up that Zoey’s the mom, because (A) it’s freaking time already, (B) the spoilers coming out make this seem like a brilliant, fun storyline, and (C) Jennifer Morrison is perfect for this. But it’s also hard not to expect that they’ll just pull another fast one with this Mother candidate.

I wouldn’t be surprised if one day, Ted just pointed out a woman on the street and said, “Oh, by the way, that chick’s your mom.” Done. Show over.

i'm super-bummed about the tiny-ness of this picture. // tv guide magazine

I’m a casual fan of How I Met Your Mother, primarily because, while I think it’s funny most of the time, the ongoing storyline is pretty tedious, and has been since about mid-season two. Three times a season, people get really excited that we are CLOSER THAN EVER TO FINDING OUT WHO THE MOTHER IS. And then … we don’t find out anything that matters.

I’m also a casual fan of Jennifer Morrison, primarily because, like many of the people I love, she got screwed over by House.

So the news that she’s guest-starring on the series has even ME, casual fan #1, quite excited. TV Guide Magazine had some new details about her appearance, which are after the jump.

It’s also worth noting, before the jump, that one Jorge Garcia will be guesting later this fall as a college friend of the pack’s who “has the uncanny ability to leave a room right before things finally get interesting.” GMMR says this guy, called Blitz, “has been cursed with this regrettable phenomenon for over twelve years.” Get it? He’s cursed? And he’s Hurley? Who was cursed by the numbers on Lost? Not sure if there will be specific in-jokes to Lost, but it sounds like a prime opportunity to make some 4 8 15 16 23 42 references. Okay, let’s jump to the real spoilers.

Jennifer Morrison’s guesting as a real candidate for The Mother, an architecture nerd who’s staging a protest to save the very same building Ted’s in charge of renovating. Gasp! It’s so You’ve Got Mail-ish!

This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a history-obsessed nutcase, though. They’re already talking about character complexities, with Jennifer’s character (Name: Zoey Van Smoot) also running into Ted at a fancy museum gala. This graph from the TV Guide article is particularly interesting:

So what’s the chance of Jennifer becoming a series regular? “I wouldn’t rule anything out,” says Thomas. “There’s something very kindred about them. In the middle of the season, this takes a big, interesting turn. We will be flashing forward to Ted’s wedding day throughout the season. We’re talking about seeing Zoey’s house, and she’ll become part of Ted’s Thanksgiving Day, much to his chagrin. And I can tell you she’s in our season finale. But whether Jennifer’s the mother, I just can’t say.”

I like the idea of animosities turning into romances–and not just because I have a lot (I mean, a LOT) of personal enemies. I also love that if she married Ted, her name would be Zoey Mosby and that’s an awesome name.

And finally, good for Jennifer Morrison for finding an awesome post-House job. As her #1 casual fan, I salute her.

slaptastic. // cbs promotional photo

Ausiello’s got an interview up with Carter Bays, the EP of How I Met Your Mother, on the subject of Robin and Barney’s breakup.  Here’s what resulted from Aus’s conversation with the showrunner:

‘None of us wanted to see Barney wearing a sweater-vest and going to bed-and-breakfasts,’ says Bays, adding that it makes sense the relationship would ‘flame out fast’ given that ‘neither of them, at their core, really wanted to be tied down.’ Bays also believes that, deep down, viewers prefer single Barney to attached Barney. ‘It’s one of those things where you can give people what they think they want, or what they really want.’

Okay.  While I happen to agree with Mr. Bays that the idea of a fast flame-out makes sense for Robin and Barney, I still find his comment moderately offensive.  Even though, if anything, I’d prefer Ted and Robin end up together (and I have an elaborate theory about New Stepmom Robin being the reason why Future Ted’s telling the kids the story), I resent any statement in which showrunners insinuate that fans can’t decide for themselves.  (See: Hart Hanson, daily basis.)

Sure, I’m not one of the people who was really vocal about Robin and Barney, but I know you all are out there.  And I’m miffed on your behalf that anyone wouldn’t take your word on your own preferences.  Ship loyalty is a very real thing, executives, and we take it seriously.  What we think we want is what we want.  And we’ll tell you.

i won't get into my theory about robin and definitely, maybe right now. // cbs promotional photo

TV Guide spilled today that Joanna Garcia, who most recently guested on Gossip Girl, will soon play another love interest of Ted’s on How I Met Your Mother.  She’ll play a college friend of Ted’s with whom he never hooked up but kind of always wanted to.  Now, Ted finds out she’s single and senses a window of opportunity to finally get with the girl next door.

Along with news that Rachel Bilson’s also guesting–and rumored to potentially be the mother–seems like Ted’s got some pretty serious prospects on his hands.  (And I like both of these actresses a hell of a lot more than I like Sarah Chalke.)

That said, my hopes are still high that Alicia Silverstone, who was on board a couple seasons ago before Britney Spears upstaged her, will show up eventually and save the day.