American Idol’s Bleep-Filled Shockfest. I kind of hate the American Idol results shows—they almost always feel like 57 minutes of filler before 3 minutes of actual tension and results. But last night’s show was different from start to finish, including a performance from my favoritey favorites, Sugarland. I could’ve had a great night just talking about Jennifer Nettles’s pants. But then with the extremely surprising announcement that Casey Abrams, long considered a front-runner (EW picked him to win the whole shebang), had been eliminated, the evening just went insane. From Randy Jackson stopping Casey mid-song to announce that the judges were saving him to Casey’s bleep-riddled relief, that was just GOOD TELEVISION. I make a point not to talk about reality television on this blog, but I’m not sure anyone could have scripted that five minutes any better.

Michael’s Proposal to Holly on The Office. God, that was so well-done. The show set that episode up to play out absolutely tragically. The somber moments about Holly’s family peppered throughout the episode (especially her poignant conversation with Phyllis about caring for aging parents) weighted the half-hour so heavily that it seemed Michael would completely botch the proposal by not picking up on his girlfriend’s pain and would end up ruining their relationship forever. Contributing to this set-up were the rumors we’d heard that Amy Ryan would (or wouldn’t or would or wouldn’t or would) be in one or any of Steve Carell’s final episodes. I felt a sad kind of fear throughout the episode, which was so nicely resolved by the sweet, realistic, dare I say beautiful final scene. He didn’t screw it up! She said YES! (Actually, she said, “Your wife becoming be will I.” Classic.) And the tension was broken with the announcement we’ve all known was coming—Michael is leaving. On his own terms, for the right reasons, the result of one good decision. Perfection.

Aaron Sorkin on 30 Rock. Oh, holy crackers. A walk-and-talk between Aaron Sorkin and Liz Lemon is something I did not know I needed before last night.

“You know my work,” he tells Liz. “I’m Aaron Sorkin—The West Wing, A Few Good Men, The Social Network…”

“Studio 60,” she interjects.

“Shut up.”

This one’s staying on the DVR.

Fox Renews Fringe! There was dancing. There was a celebratory shot of whiskey. There was a scream so loud I’m sure my neighbors thought my apartment was being burgled. I’m surprised, relieved, and so so so so so happy. I have a feeling the rest of the season is going to be pretty dark, and while I’m really excited, it would have killed me if this series had ended on a bleak note. It would have killed me if this series had ended at all. For Fox to make such a vote of confidence in the series (Kevin Reilly says it’s “truly hit a creative stride and has distinguished itself as one of television’s most original programs.”) just pleases me beyond explanation. The climb up the ranks of Twitter’s trending topics was the icing on a really joyful cupcake. Next step? Spending the summer politely convincing people to watch it.

This doesn’t even get into how great Parks and Recreation was, or how better-than-mediocre Grey’s Anatomy managed to be last night. Now I’m tired, and my throat hurts from all the screaming. Not bad for a random Friday morning in March.

I’ve always wondered what the lyrics to the Doctor Who theme song are.

They filmed this hilarious musical tribute when Matt Smith was on The Late Late Show several weeks ago, but it never aired (they didn’t get clearance from the BBC to use the theme song) and just leaked onto YouTube yesterday. While the song, the costumes, and especially the dancing are mostly just nonsense, I love Craig’s summation of the series:

“One thing is consistent, though, and this is why the show is so beloved by geeks and nerds: it’s all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism.”

It’s even complete with a cameo from Eleven himself! And also, Tom Baker’s scarf.

My one critique is that they should’ve gotten Hannah to participate. She would’ve basically exploded, and she already has about half of Rose Tyler’s wardrobe.

Hanson wishes that we could all engage in polite discourse about his television program, sharing our likes and dislikes, voicing concerns when appropriate, and always remaining on our best behavior. Which is a nice thought, except for that it’s Twitter. Oh, and also because, rather than taking the high road when he sees offensive tweets, he just dishes it right back.

Things got more than a little nasty on occasion.

(Full disclosure: I appreciate a good, snappy, well-directed tweet. But I just went through all my own tweets to @HartHanson and the snappiest thing I’ve said was, “If he’s going to insist on singing her praises, @HartHanson should at least learn how to spell Katheryn.” Which is very, very true.)

I understand that being a showrunner is a difficult job. Because he’s the boss, and because he’s the highest-up on the Bones team on Twitter, he takes (directly, unfiltered, and frequently with poor punctuation) just about every piece of criticism the fandom has. Which is a lot right now. At least online, and I know this doesn’t speak for everyone, there are lot of people who don’t like Hannah. It’s a fair opinion, and it’s one I share. (It’s one I share SO HARD that I’m waiting her out. I know I’ll outlast you, skank.)

In the last few months, though, Hanson made it clear how frustrated he was with that criticism. For the most part, the tweets from viewers that he’d reply to were either praisy-praisy love notes … or he’d bitch back at the fangirls who had something snarky to say. Every once in a while, he’d respond to (or even retweet) something politely critical, but he made it pretty clear that he just filed away those complaints. So although he never said anything directly to this effect, and he probably didn’t mean for this outcome to happen, he kind of turned it into a debate. You either liked Hannah, could see her value, and were a true fan of the show—or you wished she’d get hit by a bus and therefore didn’t deserve to call yourself a fan of Bones.

(For the record, I hope she doesn’t get hit by a bus. That would ruin all the fun of her running into Booth, Brennan, and their baby daughter in the grocery store in season eight.)

One argument that Hanson really likes to make is that the folks who talk Bones on Twitter don’t represent the viewership at large. Possibly a fair assessment–and I surely haven’t seen his data–but at the same time he commends the Twitterfans for being the most invested in the group, he puts them/us down for being … the most invested in the group. (His favorite word to describe this group is “noisy,” and I’ve never taken that as a compliment.) Again, this is where I’m sure showrunning in the social networking era is hard. He is seeing that his show is holding steady against The Big Bang Theory,  the toughest timeslot competitor he’s ever had.

But what I don’t think he’s seeing–what I don’t think he wants to see–is that the feeling is changing. A lot of the people I used to watch with regularly now watch out of obligation, if at all. Several people who used to tweet and blog and, for flip’s sake, download the episode illegally from Canada on Wednesday because they couldn’t wait another 22 hours and then watch it AGAIN legally on Thursday just based on principle, have all but gone away. And even though I haven’t seen market research, haven’t analyzed trends or had meetings with network and studio executives, didn’t spend the last six months planning an idea I thought was great — I have to believe that this ennui trickles down from the “new media elite” to the rest of the viewership. The experience just isn’t as fun anymore.

And it’s certainly not any more fun when the guy you admired, who produced your favorite show and then got on Twitter afterward to talk to you about it (!!), starts being a tremendous jerk and acting as though, because you disagree, you’re out of the club.

So when I read that he’s ditching his Replies page on Twitter—the better to ignore the “noisy” crowd, he says—I thought it was good of him to take a break from the back-and-forth. It’s taking time for fans and producers alike to figure out what our group relationship should be in the new world of social media, and there’s definitely an element of 1 vs. 26,000 that I wouldn’t be comfortable with. I mean, the man’s been on the defense practically since Booth’s coma dream. (Was he even on Twitter then?) But devaluing the Twitter community because you think it’s not representative of the viewership is dangerous, and it’s a mistake. Personally, I think the diehard fans are ahead of the curve—and with as many discontented fans as you’ve got on the Internet, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of your demographic changes the channel. Goodness knows they’re not lacking in things to flip to.

For the most part, I’m over the fact that Carter left and Abby ended up with Luka, even if, to this day, I’ll swear up and down that it never would’ve happened if Noah Wyle hadn’t left the show.

Anyway, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a bitch when I see video (old video, even!) of Maura talking about the ER fandom and saying flat-out that she likes the Lubys better than the Carbys. As Aimee said, after she watched it, “I felt a hatred toward her I’ve never known before.” It’s in this video at about 8:10.

What a personal affront to my former self!

Whatever. We’ll always have Evangeline Lilly.

The promo for next week’s Bones is unexpectedly sexy.  When Santa explodes during a botched bank heist, Booth becomes evidence.  The sides included the description of Brennan pushing nearly-naked Booth through the Jeffersonian on a gurney, but we had no idea just how far the show would take the joke.  I know a lot of flaily fangirls who were overjoyed to see that they’re taking it all the way to Brennan undressing Booth–purely for evidence’s sake.

Also, Zooey Deschanel guest-stars (along with notable hot mess Ryan O’Neal) to bring some Christmas cheer to Brennan and the team.  (Also interesting: they’ve taken down Booth’s apartment and rebuilt Brennan’s, though it looks like she’s moved again, making this the FOURTH apartment she’s lived in since the series started.)

While I still wouldn’t advise getting your hopes up for a Booth/Brennan kiss under the mistletoe, it does look like next week will bring the cuteness for them.  Of the Booth/Brennan development in the Christmas episode, Emily teased:

She kind of opens up and has a new level of compassion. I think any time Booth and Brennan have some kind of breakthrough it brings both of them together and closer. You’ll see Brennan kind of starts to have a paradigm shift in how she is looking at certain situations and Booth kind of holds her hand through that. I think when you go through something that changes you, it is profound in a way and if somebody is helping you, it brings you closer together. Christmas brings people together and as much as Brennan resists that aspect, she usually ends up with people at the end!

yeah, you're laughing now, kate. come talk to me FOUR YEARS LATER. // abc promotional photo

Oh, it is SO ON.

Last year was pretty quiet on the Jate vs. Skate front; Suliet showed up and claimed the attention of several would-be Skaters.  Now, though, with Juliet dead and the end in sight, the Jate/Skate battle begins anew, and more ferociously than ever.

(In case you didn’t know, I’m pretty invested in this one.  I am like Mel Gibson in Braveheart when it comes to Jack/Kate/Sawyer.)

With some hints at season six plotlines (and a fun new source spilling spoilers in DarkUFO’s comments), the triangle wars are heating up.  Spoilers (and blood, sweat, and tears) after the jump.

Okay, so basically, there’s this person, RSX101, dropping spoilers into the comments on Dark’s blog.  Dark vouched for RSX101′s authenticity but hasn’t been posting his or her spoilers as full-on posts because Dark takes very seriously the possibility of his sources getting in trouble with Darlton and ABC, so he doesn’t post things until he’s verified that it’s not going to get anyone fired.  (At least that’s my sense.)

In more concrete spoilers, we’ve seen both pro-Jate and pro-Skate developments.  Jack and Kate may or may not be sharing a kiss early in the season; we’ve also just gotten confirmation that Sawyer and Kate meet up in the alternate reality in episode eight, “Recon.”  (Shoot me now, please.)

In the post where it was revealed that Sawyer and Kate meet in the alt timeline, RSX101 commented with, “Sawyer/Kate fans. Don’t get too excited as I will be sending dark some spoilers soon which wont make you very happy.”

Of course, that set off a comment battle of epic proportions which ended with Dark stepping in to say, “Jeez people, can’t we go one Sawyer/Kate post without it turning into an argument? Discuss THIS spoiler NOT your ship. I will start deleting posts and repeat offenders will get BANNED.”

Pwned.

Both sides, as well as the pissed-off non-shippers who just wanted to discuss the spoiler in peace, were guilty of taking things a little too far.  And in fact, we still don’t know what RSX’s spoiler is. Though he or she spilled more detailed spoilers in the thread for the Alpert-centric “Ab Aeterno” about the Black Rock and the Man in Black, RSX wouldn’t take the bait to give out the triangle goods.

One Skater said, “Can’t you at least say if it’s a big fight? Or some action one of them takes? Or information that’s revealed? No specifics, just a context of why it might make Skaters like myself unhappy. Some could argue that SNBH with the Jack/Kate engagement was an eposide [sic] I should have disliked and been unhappy about. But I was ecstatic because it was speed-jating and proved that that couple has no trust between them. They literally fell apart in an ugly way, and the spectre of the MIA Sawyer was hanging over the episode in a way that I loved.”

And then I get all angry and terrified that the Skaters might be right and worried that I’ll be an emotional mess come the series finale and OF COURSE THEY’RE WRONG ARE THEY EVEN WATCHING LOST?

The triangle is back in a major way, manifested not just in the comments on Dark, but also in the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

BRING IT ON.

In the last several months, however, talking about spoilers has become an increasingly challenging part of fandom, as many of our conversations have moved to Twitter.  In most message boards and on LiveJournal, there are options to “hide” spoilers, either within a spoiler bar, in text that must be highlighted to read, or after a cut or jump.  DarkUFO, the largest community for Lost spoilers, posts every spoiler individually, so that readers can choose what to read–and what to comment on.

Twitter, of course, has none of those features.  If Twitter had been around during the season three “snake in the mailbox”/LostFan108 fiasco, you could have seen “OMG THE LOST FINALE IS A FLASHFORWARD AND JACK WANTS KATE TO GO BACK!” sandwiched between two completely innocuous tweets.

Obviously, spoiler-free fans (or even just moderately spoiled fans) want to be protected from tweets like that; and most spoiled fans want to respect that.  (I know I do.)

But where do we draw the line?

I asked fellow tweeters today what they think the spoiler policy is.  And I think you’ll agree that it would be extremely limiting to meet everyone’s preferences.  @Rumpio went so far as to ask that he stay totally unspoiled until airtime–in the UK. @Loster21 suggests a “24-hour-after west-coast-airing-rule, being cryptic til then, or posting a link with a spoiler warning.”  And then there’s @piratesswoop, who says it’s all fair game as soon as the episode airs.

I’m definitely with @piratesswoop, because I think part of the beauty of Twitter is so the fandom can freak out in unison.  Once Lost is back, all it’s going to take is me saying “OMGGGGG JAAAAATE!!!!!!! ” while I’m watching the premiere and anyone not spoiled will be spoiled that there’s a big Jate moment coming up.  (Note: I don’t know that there will be any Jate in the premiere at all–I’m saying this purely hypothetically.)

But I reserve my right to squee, particularly about Jate, on Twitter.

Here are the spoiler ethics I propose.

1. No major plot points should be revealed on Twitter before its U.S. East Coast airdate. Period.
2. Casting information is fair game, as long as it does not involve plot points. (“Holy moley, Josh Groban on Glee!!!” is okay; “Josh Groban’s gonna sex up Rachel Berry? Isn’t he a little old for her?” is not.)  (Note: there have been no indications of a Rachel/Josh hookup, but please credit me on any resulting fan fiction.)
3. Anything in an official press release is fair game.  This includes guest star information, vague synopses, and episode titles.  The way I see it, this information is going to pop up on your digital cable, it’s going to pop up on the Hulu description, it’s going to be all over the promos, and it’s going to be printed in your TV Guide.  Twitter is the least of your concerns as far as staying away from that information.
4. Ausiello and Kristin are in the spoiler business.  Their stuff should be discussed cryptically or not at all.  Links with spoiler warnings are preferred.
5. As soon as it has aired on the East Coast–or wherever its origin is (cough Doctor Who cough)–have at it.

Ideally, Twitter would come up with a solution for this.  I can see one of two features:

• A feature where, say, @Loster21 could “hide” my tweets if she knows I’m in EST sitting down to watch Lost.  It would collapse my tweets so she can see that I’ve tweeted, but it wouldn’t reveal what I said.  (This feature would also be beneficial when it seems a big group of people is in the middle of a freakout–hide ‘em and rejoin them later, without having to unfollow and refollow, which can get awkward.)
• A spoiler warning feature, where the spoiling tweeter can make her tweets appear in background-colored font–or collapsed with a spoiler warning.

Until there are features that protect both the spoiler-free and the spoiled, we’re going to have to coexist.  I totally understand why people are spoiler-free (and a lot of the time, I wish I was one of you), but I also understand the need to talk about current news on Twitter.  

If you have any suggestions for more ethical ethics, please share!

slaptastic. // cbs promotional photo

Ausiello’s got an interview up with Carter Bays, the EP of How I Met Your Mother, on the subject of Robin and Barney’s breakup.  Here’s what resulted from Aus’s conversation with the showrunner:

‘None of us wanted to see Barney wearing a sweater-vest and going to bed-and-breakfasts,’ says Bays, adding that it makes sense the relationship would ‘flame out fast’ given that ‘neither of them, at their core, really wanted to be tied down.’ Bays also believes that, deep down, viewers prefer single Barney to attached Barney. ‘It’s one of those things where you can give people what they think they want, or what they really want.’

Okay.  While I happen to agree with Mr. Bays that the idea of a fast flame-out makes sense for Robin and Barney, I still find his comment moderately offensive.  Even though, if anything, I’d prefer Ted and Robin end up together (and I have an elaborate theory about New Stepmom Robin being the reason why Future Ted’s telling the kids the story), I resent any statement in which showrunners insinuate that fans can’t decide for themselves.  (See: Hart Hanson, daily basis.)

Sure, I’m not one of the people who was really vocal about Robin and Barney, but I know you all are out there.  And I’m miffed on your behalf that anyone wouldn’t take your word on your own preferences.  Ship loyalty is a very real thing, executives, and we take it seriously.  What we think we want is what we want.  And we’ll tell you.

please have babies. kthxbye. // fox promotional photo

… but there is lightning in the air.

Obviously, season five of Bones is really ramping up the romance for Booth and Brennan.

Since Cyndi Lauper told Booth it was all going to work out eventually, it’s been basically nonstop squee and fluff.  Booth has confessed he’d die for Brennan, she’s confessed there’s nothing she wouldn’t do to help Booth, he asked her to be his village and help bring up Parker, they almost kissed (in fancy dress!), she gave him a key to her apartment, and they told each other they love one another–of course only in a professional manner.  Oh, and Cam, Sweets, and Gordon Gordon have now all used the words “Booth,” “in love with,” and “Dr. Brennan” in the same sentence.  (Apparently, Sweets’s book concludes with the revelation that the partners are in love with each other.)  All this, and it’s only episode seven.

Anyway, Booth loves Brennan, and he knows it big time.  Brennan almost definitely loves Booth, but she probably doesn’t know it yet, and Booth’s pretty sure she likes him just as a friend.

Yet the fandom remains on the edge of their seats, totally expecting them to hook up at any possible moment.  And while I’ll admit I was momentarily overcome with HOLY CRAP THEY’RE GOING TO KISS in “A Night at the Bones Museum,” I think the best thing we as fans can do is just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Because I guarantee you they’re not getting together for a long, long time.  (And by that, I mean probably this season finale.)  Here’s why.

First of all, listen to what the show’s telling you.  The words out of Cyndi Lauper’s mouth were as follows: “You two are going to keep doing things as usual … My cards tell me this all works out eventually.”

Literally, you’re sticking with the status quo for now–but later on, you can have all the sex.

Last week, Gordon Gordon counseled “hope and patience,” yet I was shocked at how many viewers erupted with OMG IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT’S COMING.

It’s really not.  Yes, they’re stepping it up.  Yes, this is good.  But I think we had better gear up for the rest of season five to just continue like this–highly romantic and full of anticipation–but not quite following through.

(In a sentence: don’t get your hopes up for Christmas.)

From the meta perspective, look at ratings.  The thing is, Bones is having a strong season.  Bones is gaining viewers; it just moved into second place for its timeslot.  There’s no practical reason for hooking up Booth and Brennan right now.  Which isn’t to say that the show should wait until the ratings decline–I don’t mean that at all.  But when the status quo is working so well, there’s no incentive to write consummation.  There just isn’t.

It’s not all bad news, though.  Regardless of whether or not Booth and Bones are actually together, the show remains one of the (if not the) most romantic shows on television.  Even in its heyday of romanticism, Grey’s Anatomy didn’t spend whole episodes discussing how deeply in love and denial Derek and Meredith were.  (A whole episode!  Sweets, Gordon Gordon, and Angela!  All talking about how much Booth and Brennan want to make babies with each other!)

Listen to Gordon Gordon.  Listen to Cyndi Lauper.  It’s going to happen eventually, and until then–hope and patience.  Hope and patience and the sweetest last-five-minutes-es on the airwaves.