Don’t like them with the Man in Black—
Please hurry and rejoin Team Jack.

Not on a date! Not by the sea!
And as for Kate, you let her be!

I will not like him any hour.
With or without that damn sunflower.

I REALLY HATE him by the fire.
(This triangle situation is painfully dire.)

I do not like them “here” or “there.”
(But I will say I’m enjoying Claire.)

I do not like Lost’s final year—
But it’s okay. The end is near.

(Thanks, Green Eggs & Ham. I’m sure they’re more delicious than this crap.)

I’d say we now have a pretty good guess as to the color onesies to start buying the Halperts–

Unless something goes horribly wrong, it’s a girl.

TV Guide Magazine–which, lately, has been spilling spoilers like it’s their job–has a big spread on the birth in the latest print edition which includes the sentence, “Next to Pam stands a 7-foot-tall array of congratulatory balloons, announcing the baby’s gender (which we can’t reveal, but you have a fifty-fifty chance of guessing it correctly).”  Well, apparently, nobody communicated with the photo department, who, along with this very article, slapped up a picture of Michael Scott lugging a 7-foot-tall array of pink balloons.

I, for one, am super-pleased about this arrangement.  Giving birth to a daughter basically seals a TV couple’s fate as one for the history books.  Think about all the babies who’ve mattered on television (romantically) in the past fifteen years–they’ve almost all been girls.  Now think about all the babies who are, as I like to say, “filling quotas”–they’ve almost all been boys.  (It’s the difference between Friends‘s Ben Geller and Friends‘s Emma Geller Green.  Or between Lost‘s Ji Yeon and Lost‘s Aaron.  Lost‘s David Shephard and Lost‘s Future Daughter of Jack and Kate to Be Seen Climbing Trees and Makin’ Mischief in Series Finale Flashforward. You get the idea. Also, that was not a spoiler.)  It’s not an exact science, but it’s pretty damn close.

Plus, John Krasinski has to hold this baby, so it clearly has to be a girl, because, come on. It’s just CUTER THAT WAY.

I’ve also already offered up the right to share “Allie” with me, so there’s that.

could ianto be resurrected? // bbc promotional photo

The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that Fox has commissioned Russell T Davies to develop an American version of his hit British series Torchwood, a spinoff of Doctor Who which I am quite fond of.

At first glance, it’s a major epic flail.

Davies has signed on himself, along with Julie Gardner and Jane Tranter, to bring Torchwood stateside, an unusual move for international series being adapted for America.  And according to THR, some of the cast, perhaps including John Barrowman, could be brought over to star in the series.

Spit-spot: tweet, change your GChat status, hurt your ankle jumping around the apartment.

Then pause.  Think about it.  Huh?

Now I have a lot of questions.

Does this mean that Torchwood is done in the UK?  Last I heard, season four was a go.  If the show is still going to continue in the UK and start up over here, and if Barrowman’s coming over, what does that mean for the canon of the series?  According to THR, “the U.S. version will contain a global story line compared to the more localized sensibility of the first two BBC seasons.”

This may be an ignorant question, but what stops networks like Fox from purchasing the rights to air standard Torchwood on our airwaves, just like Sky One in the UK and Global in Canada do?  Why develop whole new versions when the existing version is still thriving?  What would make more sense to me–and what I’d be trying to do were I a network executive–is forming partnerships between US and UK networks, in which, say, Fox helps significantly to fund production of Torchwood in exchange for the right to air the series stateside–and an agreement to take on more global storylines.

All of that said, I am cautiously intrigued about this venture.  And I definitely like the idea of America claiming John Barrowman.

Meanwhile, Tranter is also considering developing an American version of Doctor Who, which is the worst idea I’ve heard in my entire life.

And, finally, here’s this, because I like it.

Of course, over the two days off I took to focus on an epic research paper on California divorce law, there was plenty of  breaking news.  Today and tomorrow, I’ll look at all of that news and we’ll see what it might mean in the long run, but for now…

OMG GLEE!

What a way to go out for the fall.

Quinn’s going to go it alone with the whole single pregnant teen thing!

New Directions took Sectionals!

Sue’s on teacher probation–and kicked out of her post as Cheerios coach!

Oh, and Will and Emma kissed.

I screamed so loudly that my landlords came downstairs to check on me.  And I wasn’t even embarrassed, because THAT WAS AWESOME.  I legitimately thought their scene in the VFW hall was going to be their fall send-off; I was surprised that the last moment wasn’t given to Finn and Rachel, who’ve removed their biggest roadblock but who didn’t get any closure in the fall finale.

But as soon as Will poked his head into Emma’s empty office with a face full of disappointment, I remembered the shot from the Canadian promo of Will hauling ass down the hallway–and that we hadn’t seen that particular feat yet.

And I knew what was coming.

Very sweet, a nice culmination of thirteen episodes of build-up, and an exciting lead-in to the back nine.  We have no idea what’s going to happen with them, although I’d imagine Terri will still be around to cause them trouble AND I wouldn’t be surprised if one Idina Menzel throws a monkey wrench into Will and Emma’s fledgling romance.  But I’m happy to spend the next four months with them on good terms.

Meanwhile, can we reflect on the awesome that was the music last night?  While I, too, delighted in “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” my favorite number from last night was undoubtedly “My Life Would Suck Without You,” the Glee kids’ ballad to Mr. Schue.  Since they didn’t get to sing any of their show-stopping numbers from the first twelve episodes, I loved that the rendition of the Kelly Clarkson song highlighted memorable choreography from episodes past.  It took me to my second viewing to understand why they were wearing the cowboy hats; only on take two did I realize the hats were a throwback to “The Rhodes Not Taken,” when Kristin Chenoweth and the team sang “Last Name.”  Other recalled moments included the  boys’ mash-up to “It’s My Life/Confessions,” the girls’ “Halo/Walking on Sunshine,” Kurt’s unforgettable “Single Ladies,” the racy “Push It,” and Artie’s wheelchair dancing from “Proud Mary.”

All in all, a very satisfying episode to tide me over until April.  I wonder if the hardcore Finn/Rachel shippers feel the same way, and their story got an unexpectedly small amount of attention in this fall finale.

And last but not least, I love Brittany.  For the last several episodes, she’s had the best lines of the night.  Last night’s “She’s the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker” was unbelievably hilarious, as was her “If sex was dating, then Santana and I would be dating.”

OH, SNAP.

alex & izzie back when their only problem was brain cancer and mercy west interlopers. // abc promotional photo

TVGuide.com is reporting that on January 21, Katherine Heigl’s returning to Seattle Grace–but that doesn’t mean that Alex and Izzie are going to be back on good terms.

According to the article, her return sends Alex to Joe’s, where he drowns his sorrow in liquor–and a one-night-stand with a mystery character, one we probably know. Says Justin Chambers,

I was totally thrown off by it. I think it’s great though. It just adds a little spice to the show. The writers are really good at turning corners and taking your head for a little spin. It surprised me as much as it will the audience.

It’s gotta be that annoying Reed, right?  Oh, I could just punch her in the face.

I’m starting to get concerned that Izzie and Alex’s relationship isn’t going to end well.  With Katherine Heigl likely leaving for good after this season and Justin Chambers almost definitely staying, things are not looking good for my favorite non-Derek and Meredith couple.

In the last several months, however, talking about spoilers has become an increasingly challenging part of fandom, as many of our conversations have moved to Twitter.  In most message boards and on LiveJournal, there are options to “hide” spoilers, either within a spoiler bar, in text that must be highlighted to read, or after a cut or jump.  DarkUFO, the largest community for Lost spoilers, posts every spoiler individually, so that readers can choose what to read–and what to comment on.

Twitter, of course, has none of those features.  If Twitter had been around during the season three “snake in the mailbox”/LostFan108 fiasco, you could have seen “OMG THE LOST FINALE IS A FLASHFORWARD AND JACK WANTS KATE TO GO BACK!” sandwiched between two completely innocuous tweets.

Obviously, spoiler-free fans (or even just moderately spoiled fans) want to be protected from tweets like that; and most spoiled fans want to respect that.  (I know I do.)

But where do we draw the line?

I asked fellow tweeters today what they think the spoiler policy is.  And I think you’ll agree that it would be extremely limiting to meet everyone’s preferences.  @Rumpio went so far as to ask that he stay totally unspoiled until airtime–in the UK. @Loster21 suggests a “24-hour-after west-coast-airing-rule, being cryptic til then, or posting a link with a spoiler warning.”  And then there’s @piratesswoop, who says it’s all fair game as soon as the episode airs.

I’m definitely with @piratesswoop, because I think part of the beauty of Twitter is so the fandom can freak out in unison.  Once Lost is back, all it’s going to take is me saying “OMGGGGG JAAAAATE!!!!!!! ” while I’m watching the premiere and anyone not spoiled will be spoiled that there’s a big Jate moment coming up.  (Note: I don’t know that there will be any Jate in the premiere at all–I’m saying this purely hypothetically.)

But I reserve my right to squee, particularly about Jate, on Twitter.

Here are the spoiler ethics I propose.

1. No major plot points should be revealed on Twitter before its U.S. East Coast airdate. Period.
2. Casting information is fair game, as long as it does not involve plot points. (“Holy moley, Josh Groban on Glee!!!” is okay; “Josh Groban’s gonna sex up Rachel Berry? Isn’t he a little old for her?” is not.)  (Note: there have been no indications of a Rachel/Josh hookup, but please credit me on any resulting fan fiction.)
3. Anything in an official press release is fair game.  This includes guest star information, vague synopses, and episode titles.  The way I see it, this information is going to pop up on your digital cable, it’s going to pop up on the Hulu description, it’s going to be all over the promos, and it’s going to be printed in your TV Guide.  Twitter is the least of your concerns as far as staying away from that information.
4. Ausiello and Kristin are in the spoiler business.  Their stuff should be discussed cryptically or not at all.  Links with spoiler warnings are preferred.
5. As soon as it has aired on the East Coast–or wherever its origin is (cough Doctor Who cough)–have at it.

Ideally, Twitter would come up with a solution for this.  I can see one of two features:

• A feature where, say, @Loster21 could “hide” my tweets if she knows I’m in EST sitting down to watch Lost.  It would collapse my tweets so she can see that I’ve tweeted, but it wouldn’t reveal what I said.  (This feature would also be beneficial when it seems a big group of people is in the middle of a freakout–hide ‘em and rejoin them later, without having to unfollow and refollow, which can get awkward.)
• A spoiler warning feature, where the spoiling tweeter can make her tweets appear in background-colored font–or collapsed with a spoiler warning.

Until there are features that protect both the spoiler-free and the spoiled, we’re going to have to coexist.  I totally understand why people are spoiler-free (and a lot of the time, I wish I was one of you), but I also understand the need to talk about current news on Twitter.  

If you have any suggestions for more ethical ethics, please share!