(Leaving more space in case you clicked here from Twitter and don’t actually want to know.)

As if there were ever any question about the sex of this baby.

It’s a girl!

In the script for episode two, a suspect gets fresh talking about Brennan, to which Booth does not take kindly. Sweets tells the suspect to take it easy: “The little girl she’s carrying is his daughter.”

Booth is going to be a daughterfather. Commence squeeing and universal “I told you so”s.

I’ll take the first one: I told you so!

i've got some serious evidence, crazypants. also, i approve of all your choices. // fox promotional photo

Every morning I wake up and think, “Today, I am going to write about something that isn’t Fringe.”

And then I remember it’s my blog, and I’ll write about whatever I damn well please. Or, as the case may be, whatever happens to have soul-magneted my conscious mind.

Here’s a little backstory.

handwatch '11, part one. // spoilertv.com

A couple months ago, Joshua Jackson was photographed on the set of Fringe wearing a wedding ring. I immediately, um, exploded into a fit of fangirly squee (albeit confused fangirly squee), until Carrie politely informed me via Twitter that Mr. Jackson is just a devoted non-husband husband (to Diane Kruger, who’s also been wearing a ring, even though they are not legally married). And actually, I think it’s sweet that between takes, he slips the ring out of his pocket and goes back to being Mr. Kruger.

But if he had a secret plan to screw with my brain, well, congratulations. Mission accomplished.

So when pictures from the filming of 3×21 were leaked about two weeks ago, showing Jackson in costume, wearing a wedding ring, I wasn’t fazed. I patted myself on the back for not spazzing like a lunatic and continued about my day. Well, I spazzed over Peter’s outfit, which included a gun holster, but I dismissed the ring.

(By the way, the original married-hands photo was from filming of “Os,” I believe, which has obviously come and gone without a wedding.)

handwatch '11, part two. // spoilertv.com

Well, yesterday, more set photos were leaked.

And there was a ring. On a left hand. But it was not Josh’s. It was Anna’s. Which means. That. Someway, somehow. In whatever universe. I don’t even care. Except, okay, I care. In some universe in the season finale. And probably the episode before. Peter and Olivia are married.

Oh, snap. All bets are off, people.

Every theory I could come up with between now and the finale has been tainted by this knowledge. My brain cannot and will not put together coherent thoughts on things like machines, flash-forwarding, shapeshifters, and third universes—not when I know that Peter and Olivia (at some point, in some universe, whatever) will be married.

handwatch '11, part three. // spoilertv.com

Sidebar: I suppose, technically, they could be independently married to other people, but I trust these producers too much to even speculate on that grim possibility.

Now, all signs point to this being a flashforwardy third universe. (Holla.) But what the rules of that universe are, how Ourlivia and her team and Walternate and his team factor into it, how we get there, why we’d go there, what it has to do with the machine … all those questions are unanswered and I have very few ideas.

But you want ideas on how my new favorite love story makes it to the altar? SOMETIME IN THE NEXT THREE EPISODES?

That I can do.

The way I see it, this can go one of three ways.

1. Peter rescues Olivia from her Bell-squished brain and, in a grand gesture of life-affirming romance, whisks her away to Vegas to marry her. Meanwhile, doctors struggle to diagnose the surprisingly severe stroke I’ve had at age 24. (This is unlikely.)
2. These photos are from scenes that take place in the future, where Peter and Olivia are happily married, have children, and fight crime. Peter coaches the kids’ soccer. I spend the evening running around the apartment screaming Taylor Swift’s “Mine.” FLASHFORWARD AND WE’RE TAKING ON THE WORLD TOGETHER AND THERE’S A … Oh, wait. That’s every night. Never mind.
3. These photos are from scenes that take place in the future, where even though Peter and Olivia are married, things are not good. They’ve stolen a kid and are fighting a lot. It worked out for a while, and then he was like WE HAVE TO GO BACK and she was all I CAN’T HAVE YOU LIKE THIS AROUND MY SON and he’s all YOUR SON. YOU’RE NOT EVEN RELATED TO HIM. Or something like that. (Although, if this is the case, why are they still wearing rings? To answer my own question—because the show is weird like that. Walternate still wears a wedding ring even though he’s having sex with that Asian lady and not Peter’s mom.)

There’s also another option, which is that this takes place in an entirely separate universe, where an entirely separate Peter has married an entirely separate Olivia. (But then what is the point?)

I think the most interesting combination of ideas is #1 and #3. Peter and Olivia do get crazymarried before the finale, but then things are really bad between them in the future. What’s interesting is whether or not, in the present day in the present universe, Peter and Olivia become aware of all this future business, thus giving them something to fear and fight against—terrorist attacks, divorce, haircuts. (Could this awareness be related to the machine? To the 6:02 AM event? What if whatever happens at 6:02 AM happens at that time on some day in the future, which is the really bad event that they’re trying to prevent? You know, because there are worse things, in the grand scheme of the universe, than marital discord. And is this sounding too much like Flashforward?)

Ultimately, I’ll go along with the story regardless and just be excited about this whole marriage thing. Which, by the way, I’m really excited about. (Will she have changed her name? Do they have children? Did Peter wear the purple tuxedo at their wedding? Does Olivia call Walter “Dad”? SO MANY QUESTIONS.)

Okay, I’ll excuse myself now.

In addition to previously-announced guest stars Ricky Gervais and Will Arnett, The Office has added James Spader, Ray Romano, and Catherine Tate to the season finale’s guest cast. While Spader and Romano obviously have long and storied histories on American television, Tate’s work is far more under the radar, far less mainstream, and decidedly British.

Across the pond, Tate is known for her sketch comedy series, The Catherine Tate Show, as well as a season as Donna Noble, Ten’s companion on Doctor Who. (She’s also an accomplished stage actress, who’s appearing this summer in Much Ado About Nothing opposite David Tennant.)

I had a good squealfest last night about this news, because, despite not knowing the role they’ve written for Tate or the direction the show wants to go in with a replacement for Michael, I can’t help but feel like she’s completely perfect for this job.

Tate is a brilliant comedian. As Donna, Tate was by far the funniest companion, but she also brought so much heart to Doctor Who. Unlike universe-crossing love interest Rose Tyler or whiny crush-harboring Martha Jones, Donna was the Doctor’s best friend without benefits or expectations, which gave the character altogether different and wonderful reasons for following the Doctor through space and time. Over the course of season four, Tate provided some of Doctor Who’s wittiest, quickest, and most touching moments. (She also figured out the whole TARDIS coral thing, so that Rose and Ten can build their own TARDIS, for which I am eternally grateful.)

She’d be an unexpected choice—and by far the least known actor in the running for the job—but, creatively, I think she’d be an amazing hire. With actors like James Spader and Will Arnett, you can pretty much count on what they’re bringing to the table. The Office at its best is understated and casual, not adjectives often used to describe either of these actors. And as TVLine pointed out, Romano is committed to TNT’s Men of a Certain Age, so it’s highly doubtful he’s on board for more than May’s finale. (Ditto for Arnett, who’s signed on to a pilot, and Gervais, who’s never been seen as a serious candidate for a full-time gig stateside, no matter how great that could be.)

Ultimately, these candidates could all be brought in for interviews in the season finale, and then Sabre could just choose to promote from within. But with such a huge change underfoot, I’m increasingly feeling like this is a huge opportunity to shake things up and introduce a completely new character who will really change the dynamic of the show—without changing the tone. And for that reason, I’m gunning for Catherine Tate.

(Bonus points if you make bringing in your own team a condition of taking the job. I have no idea if the Children of Time can sell paper, but they CAN stop the Daleks from destroying reality and fly the earth home in time for supper.)

American Idol’s Bleep-Filled Shockfest. I kind of hate the American Idol results shows—they almost always feel like 57 minutes of filler before 3 minutes of actual tension and results. But last night’s show was different from start to finish, including a performance from my favoritey favorites, Sugarland. I could’ve had a great night just talking about Jennifer Nettles’s pants. But then with the extremely surprising announcement that Casey Abrams, long considered a front-runner (EW picked him to win the whole shebang), had been eliminated, the evening just went insane. From Randy Jackson stopping Casey mid-song to announce that the judges were saving him to Casey’s bleep-riddled relief, that was just GOOD TELEVISION. I make a point not to talk about reality television on this blog, but I’m not sure anyone could have scripted that five minutes any better.

Michael’s Proposal to Holly on The Office. God, that was so well-done. The show set that episode up to play out absolutely tragically. The somber moments about Holly’s family peppered throughout the episode (especially her poignant conversation with Phyllis about caring for aging parents) weighted the half-hour so heavily that it seemed Michael would completely botch the proposal by not picking up on his girlfriend’s pain and would end up ruining their relationship forever. Contributing to this set-up were the rumors we’d heard that Amy Ryan would (or wouldn’t or would or wouldn’t or would) be in one or any of Steve Carell’s final episodes. I felt a sad kind of fear throughout the episode, which was so nicely resolved by the sweet, realistic, dare I say beautiful final scene. He didn’t screw it up! She said YES! (Actually, she said, “Your wife becoming be will I.” Classic.) And the tension was broken with the announcement we’ve all known was coming—Michael is leaving. On his own terms, for the right reasons, the result of one good decision. Perfection.

Aaron Sorkin on 30 Rock. Oh, holy crackers. A walk-and-talk between Aaron Sorkin and Liz Lemon is something I did not know I needed before last night.

“You know my work,” he tells Liz. “I’m Aaron Sorkin—The West Wing, A Few Good Men, The Social Network…”

“Studio 60,” she interjects.

“Shut up.”

This one’s staying on the DVR.

Fox Renews Fringe! There was dancing. There was a celebratory shot of whiskey. There was a scream so loud I’m sure my neighbors thought my apartment was being burgled. I’m surprised, relieved, and so so so so so happy. I have a feeling the rest of the season is going to be pretty dark, and while I’m really excited, it would have killed me if this series had ended on a bleak note. It would have killed me if this series had ended at all. For Fox to make such a vote of confidence in the series (Kevin Reilly says it’s “truly hit a creative stride and has distinguished itself as one of television’s most original programs.”) just pleases me beyond explanation. The climb up the ranks of Twitter’s trending topics was the icing on a really joyful cupcake. Next step? Spending the summer politely convincing people to watch it.

This doesn’t even get into how great Parks and Recreation was, or how better-than-mediocre Grey’s Anatomy managed to be last night. Now I’m tired, and my throat hurts from all the screaming. Not bad for a random Friday morning in March.

wouldn't it be nice to be able to tell your boyfriend, 'get off me or i will set you on fire'? // fox promotional photo

Yesterday, a surprising and confusing Fringe tidbit hit the Internet, and it’s had me abuzz ever since. Spoilers and some fun speculation after the jump.

Apparently, Fringe is casting an 18-20-year-old version of Ella, Olivia’s niece, who is currently seven years old.

This immediately piqued my interest for a couple of reasons:

1. Flashforward? Fun! Does this mean we’ll get to meet Peter and Olivia’s children?
2. Flashforward? Scary… Will Walter even  be alive in fifteen years?
3. Other little hints have suggested that we’re close to meeting a third Olivia—could an older version be that third?
4. This character is expected to recur in season four, which means … Flashforward? And then some.

That, of course, made me nervous. I love THIS era of Fringe, what with Peter and Olivia basking in the afterglimmer for AT LEAST one more day, and I’m not at all ready to flashforward ten to fifteen years from now on a permanent (or even semi-permanent) basis. Plus, while a quick-flash flashforward could calm our fears and show us that Peter, Olivia, and Walter live happily ever after eventually, I would never expect them to revisit Mr. and Mrs. Rainbows and Pony Rides Bishop on a regular basis in season four.

Which is why, ultimately, I’ve dispelled that theory. If not for the aforementioned reasons, then because it would require putting Anna Torv in age makeup every day, and WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

So what does this all mean?

Here’s my idea.

Maybe they’re about to introduce a third universe. One that is not so much a quirky-parallel (Manhatan! Twin Towers! Frozen Blocks of Amber Suspending Animation, Even Live People!), but rather a copy of our universe … running fifteen years ahead.

Because I’m expecting angst, imagine that things are royally screwed up over there, particularly for our guys. They’ve made huge sacrifices to save the world(s)—maybe Peter only has one arm (crossing over incident, shark attack, etc.), Olivia never had children, and Walter could even be dead. But up to the point where we’ve gone in our story … their lives were the same. Peter and Olivia made the same connections and made it to the same point in their relationship. And sometime between when they were “I Want What You Want” Olivia and “What Do You Propose We Do About That?” Peter and when they became Oldlivia (Oldlivia! You heard it here first!) and Oldpeter, things got BAD. Like, really, really bad.

I’m obsessed with this idea because it brings into play a concept they’ve just started playing for keeps with—the concept that Olivia and Peter are destined to be together. Having met as children and been brought together as adults by the strangest of circumstances, Peter and Olivia are right now being established as more than just fun love interests—they are FATED for one another. FATED, YOU GUYS.

So if we’ve spent the last few episodes–possible even the last season–addressing this concept that Peter and Olivia are destined for each other, imagine how CRAZYGOOD it would be if season four (oh, please, let there be a season four) addresses the possibility that Peter and Olivia are destined to be apart?

(They’re not, by the way, but meeting your future selves who hate each other would definitely make you question your fearless newfound love.)

Then the show becomes about escaping your destiny–proving fate wrong by overcoming the roadblocks you weren’t “supposed” to get past. Making the choice to stay together when you know that terrible things, such as shark attacks, are coming your way.

Sounds like it would take a pretty special love to deal with that. And I think I know just the pair…

the skyrockets, they are not in flight. // fox promotional photo

I’m still taking in all the excitement from last night’s Glee, chiefly:

1. Epic Flail was right.

2. The episode was actually good.

3. I now have plans to invent an actual “Afternoon Delight” dessert this weekend.

For now, things are looking all right for Will and Emma. Even though Holly Holliday’s trying to get in on that action, every good Glee fan can recognize a season finale set-up when they see one. Am I right, ladies?

In fact, Gwynnie’s little sneaky-sneak at the end there–glossing over the fact that Emma’s still in love with Will while she’s trying to make him date her–all but confirms that she’s not a legitimate obstacle in The Love Story That Is Will and Emma.

Which (yay!) means that I now condone liking Holly. With solid lines last night like “Everybody’s got a random” and “My lips are sealed, just like your legs,” it’s kind of hard not to.

Dammit, Murphy.

Anyway, now that I’ve refollowed @JohnStamos and taken down my “I hate Gwyneth” posters (you think I’m kidding), do you wanna know who IS the big threat to the parade of joy heading down Nationals Highway?

If you guessed Terri Schuester, you’d be correct.

Remember when she showed up LAST time Gwyneth was around? Remember how she did the really-nasty with Will while he was high on cold medicine?

Well, I for one am concerned she’s about to pull a Jan Levenson, a Georgina Sparks, if you will, and show up super-preggo in the season finale. With Will’s influenza-semen baby. Only this time for real.

She’s just crazy enough to do it. And you know it’d happen RIGHT as Will and Emma are getting comfortable in Sexytown. She’ll just come a-strollin’ in, like the vicious trollop that she is, baring her belly as proof she’s not kidding this time and clutching in-utero paternity test results proclaiming that known slut Will Schuester has fathered her child.

Is that too crazy, even for Glee? Should I just forget about this crazy worry and go back to flailing about Will regaining his rightful place as the frontrunner in the race to deflower Miss Pillsbury?

Maybe so, but I don’t trust that Ryan Murphy one bit…

Canada really likes to spill beans, and despite my lingering issues with the Great White North, it’s impossible not to get jazzed when they decide to share something like that.

Spoilers after the jump.

So, in next week’s episode, Peter and Olivia kiss. (OMG YAY SQUEE.) Before you pop the champagne, though, let’s consider the following:

1. They could totally break lips half a second later, with a “Nope, too weird,” from Peter.

2. It’s Fringe, so this could be a dream or a flashback or anything not real.

3. None of this really matters anyway, because they’re about to find out her over-there doppelgänger is totes preggo.

Even putting all that aside, I’m still super-jazzed. For starters, PETER AND OLIVIA KISS! This is big!

More importantly, this is a big step for Ourlivia. The biggest and most-discussed difference between Olivias Our and Faux, at least personality-wise, is that Fauxlivia is less guarded, while Ourlivia tends to play her cards close to her chest. Peter knows this, and appreciated Fauxlivia’s warmth, even though he definitely doubted how real that emotion was after she’d been revealed as an imposter. So I think it’s important for her to try to be more open with Peter about how she feels, so he has as many facts as possible by the time he makes a choice between girls/universes.

Although let’s be honest. It doesn’t matter which he got pregnant (ugh), his heart ultimately belongs to one Dunham and one Dunham alone.

As our Dillon family leaves us, old friends return, in the form of Matt Saracen, Tyra Collette, and recently paroled Tim Riggins. And while Tyra and Riggins seem to be around for nostalgic purposes (at least in these clips), ol’ Matty has a job to do.

That’s Mr. Matt Saracen, down on one knee at the Alamo Freeze with his grandmother’s ring, proposing marriage to Julie Taylor, who until very recently was a wayward college freshman having inappropriate relations with her TA. “Oh my God, my dad must have flipped,” she says after accepting, admiring her new bling. There’s some confusion, and Matt admits he kinda just went for it–he didn’t actually ask Coach Taylor for his daughter’s hand.

Oops.

So Julie instructs him to backtrack and request her dad’s blessing–without telling him the proposal’s already been done.

Heretofore, I thought Jack Bristow held the record for Scariest Dad From Whom to Request His Daughter’s Hand in Marriage.

And, heretofore, I may have been right. But then I saw this scene:

“The answer to your question is no. The answer to your question is gonna be no today. It’s gonna be no tomorrow. And it’ll probably be no until the sun burns out. Is that clear?”

Did you hear that? UNTIL THE SUN BURNS OUT. Here’s the thing. I understand that Matt and Julie are young. But putting aside her transgressions with a married grad student and his dalliances with Carlotta the Live-In Nurse, those two have pretty much been together for five years. (Oh, except for that whole situation with The Swede. Remember him? Me neither.)

So while I can understand Coach being concerned that they are too young, I think “until the sun burns out” is a little harsh. I mean, this is Matt! This is exactly the kind of boy you want your daughter to bring home! He’s never been to jail (Riggins). He’s never killed anyone (Landry). You’ve never had to break his headlights with your plumbing tools (Derek the TA). He respects girls, and doesn’t comment on your alien-looking baby, and he loves his grandmother–I mean, holy crap, Coach Taylor’s standards are higher than mine. Unless in the episodes between now and the finale, Matt goes on a drug-fueled rampage that takes out both East and West Dillon, I really don’t understand the problem.

It’s Matt–you gotta lock that down. Lock it down, Julie Taylor. Lock. It. Down.

Promotional pictures for episode thirteen, which airs two weeks from Thursday, are out. Those pictures—and spoilers—are after the jump.

In colloquial terms, we call this “Susan Lewising That Shit.” It’s a reference to the estimable Dr. Lewis of ER, who gracefully dumped John Carter when it became clear he was in love with somebody else.

She definitely wasn’t the first. A much older example—and perhaps one of my all-time favorite movie moments—comes from The Sound of Music, when the Baroness excuses herself from the love triangle. It’s such a great moment, because up until that point, the Baroness was pretty much the second tier villain in the film. There were the Nazis, and then a notch below, there was the Baroness. She was going to send the kids to boarding school! What a bitch.

The clip isn’t on the YouTube, but you probably know it. The Captain and the Baroness are standing on the balcony of his villa, talking about their wedding plans, when he gently stops her. She totally reads the subtext and cuts him off before he can break up with her. She tells him she needs someone less independent and says she’ll go inside, pack her little bags, and return to Vienna where she damn well belongs. And she finishes the conversation with the brilliant zinger, “And somewhere out there is a young lady who I think will never be a nun.” In that moment, she stops being the villain and becomes my hero.

That scene—actually, that entire movie—is basically burned on my brain. So when I saw the following picture from Bones’s NOT-anticipated proposal episode, I got chills, because my homegirl Baroness von Hannah is about to remove herself from the equation, you guys.

bones will definitely never be a nun. // fox promotional photo

I mean, look at Booth! Look at Hannah! It’s OVER, y’all.

Not convinced? Look at this one, from the same episode. We’re going back to the old days of End Scenes of Fluff, as Brennan consoles a dejected Booth at the Founding Fathers while George Washington stares Booth down in judgment.

i cannot tell a lie. you are a douche. - george washington. // fox promotional photo

So how will this actually go down?

Even though Hannah seems to be playing it cool with Brennan, the events of last week’s episode won’t be quickly forgotten. (I didn’t watch it, but I hear things.) The seed of doubt has been planted, and I didn’t even have to incept her.

So I imagine that by the time Booth gets around to proposing, there are two things on his mind:

1. Sweets’s parallel proposal to Daisy.
2. His conflicting feelings for both Brennan and Hannah.

I feel like Booth’s proposal will be less about wanting to spend the rest of his life with Hannah, and more about wanting to convince himself he wants to spend the rest of his life with Hannah. The synopsis for the episode corroborates this theory: “Booth makes a grand gesture to show Hannah his commitment to their relationship.”

You know what it reminds me of?

John Locke’s proposal to Helen on Lost. Torn between his love for Helen and his need to know his father, regardless of how much of a loser that guy was, Locke ended up proposing to her during a fight, in the parking lot of a cheap hotel after she caught him being a sketchy sketch for his dad. T’was an act of desperation, and it didn’t pay off. She said no.

So while the thing pulling Booth from his relationship (his love for Brennan) is far less sketchy than running scams for his father, it’s still an obstacle that Hannah must be ready to realize is unconquerable. I also think this could set up the elevator dealio quite nicely—Booth is NOT going to be happy when he perceives that Brennan has once again ruined his chance for true happiness.

Anyway, I guess this means that episode fourteen could be my first Bones episode of the season. Prepare yourself for tweets such as “Nice new haircut, Bones!” and “Wow, nice AfghaniTAN, Booth!” and “Damn, that was the longest hiatus ever!”

It has now been confirmed that next week’s episode of The Office will feature none other than series creator Ricky Gervais, revisiting his beloved (?) character, David Brent.

This is obviously a huge moment for the show, as such a crossover (of sorts) has been the subject of discussion since pretty much season one, episode one.

Paul Lieberstein told New York Magazine, “Ricky had wanted to do something [with the U.S. Office] and it felt like we shouldn’t go the whole series without them connecting.”

Aww.

What I find most interesting about the whole thing is something I had never thought about, summed up in this quote from NYMag.com:

“But we had some issues to work out, like how does David Brent live in the world of Michael Scott.” Producers knew it might be odd to link the universes of two office managers who both had documentary crews following them. In the end, the decision was made to shoot the scene away from Dunder-Mifflin. “It’s outside of the office, and it’s just the two of them interacting,” he says. “It’s just a little nod to Steve and his final year.”

“What’s with the cameras?”

“Oh, I’m the subject of a documentary about my work as the regional manager of a paper supply company.”

“Well, that’s a strange coincidence.”

Something interesting to think about as we head toward Michael Scott’s departure is if the show will address Michael’s departure from the documentary. The Office doesn’t do well at addressing its mockumentary frame most of the time. That may be for the best, as filming has been going on for seven years, with no end in sight. I mean, that’s commitment to your craft, guys. But regardless of the believability of the show’s frame, Michael has obviously become very accustomed to being followed, and I think we have to believe that the cameras give him an even further heightened sense of self. Does Michael even understand that the film is about Dunder-Mifflin and not about him personally?

Anyway, bringing Gervais in is a really nice nod to Carell and–hopefully–a solid “beginning of the end” moment for his character. As a caveat, writers, if this is lame, I will write off the show forever, because it should be crystal clear that these two are hilarious unscripted.