lost spoilers: WHO’S got a WHAT?!

things were so easy in season one // abc promotional photo

It’s back to the grind for a lot of people this morning, including me–both at work and here.  As at the office, things are quickly picking up post-holiday in the TV world, especially for the rapidly-approaching Lost, which premieres in officially less than a month.

While there’s way more to talk about than just the quadrangle, we’re going to start there this week — but I promise we’ll get to the other business later on.  (That stuff is pretty juicy, too, but it doesn’t involve kissing.)  Serious spoilers after the jump.

Let’s start with the big stuff, shall we?

In the alternate reality, Jack has a kid–specifically, a 12-ish-year-old son named David.  We don’t know who his mom is or what happened to her (all signs point to Mom being dead or out of the picture), and we don’t know what kind of dad Jack is.  We do know that Christian Shephard plays a role in David Shephard’s life–oh, and that Locke is a substitute teacher at his school.

Now, this is all well and good, as long as Darlton knows one extremely important thing: this is no substitute for a tiny precious baby of Jack and Kate’s own, preferably named Lucy and preferably with a twin brother named Luke, but I’m pretty flexible on those last two.

And here’s why all of these things (including the whole mildly embarrassing Lucy thing) could just be real.

First of all, we’re told that the events in the alternate reality in some ways will be mirroring the events in the established timeline on the island.  This, you know, FORCES me (’cause I totally would do this otherwise) to wonder whether or not it’s possible that Kate’s pregnant.  This was a popular theory post-”316,” where Jack and Kate’s random (and kind of sad) pre-Ajira sex led many to believe she brought a baby to the island.  (Jimmy Kimmel shared this speculation, and asked Evangeline Lilly in an interview–she dodged the question and probably didn’t know the answer anyway.)  That whole business about proxies also led a lot of people, myself included, to speculate that Kate was Claire’s proxy on Ajira 316.  But as the season wore on and there was no mention of morning sickness or Jack and Kate getting married and buying a double stroller for their twins, people pretty much gave up on that theory.  Kate also threw back a beer with Roger Linus in season five, although I contend I would have loved that baby even if she was born was fetal alcohol syndrome.

Anyway, some people are revisiting the Kate’s pregnancy storyline for a couple of reasons.  One is that, counting from “316,” Kate would only be a whopping four days pregnant.  It frankly wouldn’t have made sense for Kate to already know she’s pregnant at this point; it’s still possible that Darlton planted the seed (so to speak) in “316″ and are waiting to see if they need or want to use the pregnancy storyline.  With that in mind, the pregnancy-death thing is still an important part of the Lost mythology–and something they’re going to have to deal with in season six–so what better way to address the answer to that question than by giving the lead female character a potentially lethal pregnancy?

Secondly, I’m willing to bet that Jack isn’t an awesome father in the alternate reality.  Part of his story on the island has been in coming to terms with his own complicated relationship with his father.  I would love to see him with a kid after breaking that cycle, but I doubt that we’ll see that in the alternate reality with David–especially since he’s reaching his teen years.  If they were introducing a five-year-old, I’d be concerned.  Ideally, we’ll eventually (likely in a series-finale flashforward) see him as a great dad to his on-island kids with Kate, demonstrating how the plane crash didn’t just bring about misery for Jack.

Then, of course, there are the very recent spoilers that Dark and Kristin have been spilling about Sawyer and Kate’s relationship (or lack thereof).  Dark quoted a source yesterday who said, “early in the season there is a scene with Sawyer and Kate on Island not alt. In this scene kate tries to comfort sawyer but he totally rejects her in a big way. So much so that in the script itself the writers like they do when explaining the context/desciption of the scene actually say that these two are finally done/over – no going back!”

Um, yay.

It’s hard to get too excited, though, because who knows how much of this is the interpretation of the source, but I’ll take what I can get.  Furthermore, I can already hear the cries of the Skaters who’ll boast that Kate is only settling for Jack when she ends up with him, because she tried to have Sawyer and couldn’t.  It’s okay, though, because I’m sure the rest of the Internet will down them out with shouts of “I told you so.”

Of course, I will be totally dignified about this.

This morning, Kristin released seven tidbits and said that six were true–DarkUFO confirms the six (italicized):

• Juliet survives the bomb.
• Juliet does not survive the bomb.
• Kate and Sawyer flirt.
• Kate and Sawyer kiss.
• Juliet and Sawyer kiss.
• Jack and Sayid touch lips.
• There is a scene with Sawyer in the season premiere that will make you cry buckets–assuming you aren’t a robot–and (possibly?) make you Skaters happy.

Dark says Kate and Sawyer flirt in the alternate reality, but I don’t think it goes any further than that.  He also says that the premiere scene she’s referring to is Juliet’s death.  Basically, Kristin’s trying to give hope to the Skaters, but there really isn’t much to be had.  I’m not calling this a W yet–and definitely won’t until the moments after the finale airs–but it’s inches to go with seconds left on the clock, and it’ll take something crazy to turn this game around.